The vacation is over

In the beginning it felt as though you went away on vacation or something. You know that feeling you get when you miss someone who's gone, but your happy because they will be back soon? That was how I was feeling. Like you were coming back... my heart was hopeful.

It's been almost 4 months and the vacation is over. My heart has finally come to the realization you are never coming back. This is a terrible feeling I just can't handle. I cry daily still, sneaking off to hide somewhere really quickly while I let out this pain that has come over me.
I start to cry, and as the tears fall my sobs turn into wailing that I just cannot control. My heart feels as though it will jump from my chest.My legs go weak. Joey reaches in to hug me but I turn him away. I want to be left with my aching heart.

I still hear from those who mean well, " this will get better in time."
Well as time goes on... it hurts even more. Simply because the minutes, the hours, the days that do go by are nasty reminders that someone you love so much will no longer be a part of your life.