Thursday, January 15, 2009

December 27th, 2008

In the midst of constant chaos, my rest is in You. Through the pain and agony that rips through my heart, You, help me deal. Desperate, alone, in this time of darkness. I know You are there to guide me and direct me. If I should only reach out in blindness, and grasp your hand. The edge of a cliff, the end of the rope, is where I am. To the world, there is no return, but in You, these chains that bind me, are broken. The crooked way is made straight, the darkness turns to light.
When that day, moment, even hour may come, no one knows. I hold onto Your hand so tightly, while the storms of this world create waves that constantly crash around me. Threatening to pull me under. Just as the top of my head disappears, just as I begin to sink, You, reach down and pull me up. I gasp for air, clinging tightly to You, praying that You never leave me. But You, my Lord, only hold on so tight. You allow the waves to push me around .
As they crash around me, it sounds as though they cheer, they cheer in the hopes that the day will come, when they can swallow me up. But You, don't leave me here alone. From the beginning of this storm, when the first rain drop fell, You, were there.
You knew, May 30th, 2008, would be a part of my future. You knew, as far as this earth goes, that i would be left with nothing. And yet, You allowed it. There is growth, there is change, there is something You want to teach me, somewhere You want to take me. Abba, I am here.